My entire family have all been born with bad teeth despite seriously stringent dental hygiene regimens, and I am no exception. When I was very young, my mother could barely keep the lights on and the fridge stocked, so my brothers and I were not really taken to the dentist that much. In fact, I think the first dental appointment I ever had was when I was 14 or so. This was traumatic as all get out, because not only did I have cavities in my permanent teeth, but still had many, many baby teeth under which xrays showed impacted teeth. The dentist hooked me up with sealants (not a filling but something sorta applied and 'baked' on/in with a UV wand/gun. It was cool, I guess, because you really cant tell sealants are there, but the easy part was soon to be over. The dentist wanted to (pretty much verbatim in my 14 year old mind) slice open my gums, remove the baby teeth, pull the adults into position and slap braces on the whole hot mess. My mother declined. There was just no money. I shrugged it off because my mouth never bothered me painwise, and my smile wasn't all that bad anyway. Besides, braces were not an option as far as I was concerned; Aside from the fact I was an athlete and didnt want to spend god knows how long worrying about face injuries on the soccer field/baseball diamond/basketball court, the idea of beginning high school with a metal mouth was just unacceptable even if we DID have the money. And so time marched on.
I grew up, had a baby, developed a nice career. And wisdom teeth.
They didnt hurt, so I continued my plan to pretend all dentists had fallen off the face of the Earth. Mouth still looked the same....didnt give it another thought for years. Thats when things began to change.
I became sick and my immune had sort of quit at some point, because I could not recover from even the simplest colds. I also found out I was a diabetic, which was shocking due to my personal health habits and my athleticism. I was in the hospitals for weeks on end, and twice I had teeth just crack in half while there. Who knew (and by 'who', I mean '14yo' me) that diabetes can affect your oral health?! After the two incidents with the cracked teeth, things just formed a landslide and my mouth became a mess; more cracked teeth, chipped teeth, some holes, two adult teeth in the front began to move out of place, being pushed by the impacted teeth - but without the baby tooth falling out of its place. And there's the most horrifying development of all: a tooth in the front cracked in half and was black with decay on the remaining piece. This was all WITH my practicing proper dental cleaning. No insurance, no job, not eligible for disability and very little money in savings which was earmarked for the needs of my child...I decided I'd just let it go - que sera sera.
That was 4 years ago, the episodes of hospital stays. Now, I am furious with myself for not taking care of business I KNEW was bad and also at my mother for not helping me as a child regardless of the cost. I began suffering, and it hasnt stopped yet.
I sit here right now with a pain in my jawbone that makes me want to shreik and sob uncontrollably. I have many cracked teeth, pieces missing, rotten teeth, you name it. The impacted teeth are all still there in the gums somewhere, and the spacings have changed. With this pain I can hardly bear, not only am I convinced I have an abcess but I am terrified of asking for financial help only to have someone yank all the teeth out but refuse to help with restorative care, like implants. My father had it done because his were horrible from about 12 on, but he had dental insurance. I am not that lucky. I'm not working and I dont have money. It is soul-splittingly depressing to watch this play out. I'm not sure which is worse: living with the pain or living without teeth or dentures/implants. This very recent, very rapid rate of decay is alarming and the pain is enough to make the room spin.
For years, I have been mortified due to my teeth, and now I am really scared for my health even though I fear being judged or ridiculed and I have got to find someone to help me. The dental place my father goes to is running a sweepstakes for a full smile makeover (Smiledog Millionaire) and I put my name down for it but the odds are astronomical. Meanwhile, I dont know how to explain my life story to a dentist and persuade him to help me when he has no idea who I am? Its been over a decade and my lsat dentist is dead, I think. He was late 70s when I was there last.
I seriously dont know what to do. I'm terrified of what this could do to my health and I am paralyzed by the thought of having NO real teeth and no way to get fake ones. I'm interviewing here and there because I need to ge t working again after the layoffs and cuts, etc.......and I'm convinced my teeth - no matter how I try to hide them - are costing me employment. No employment is costing me my teeth. Its a vicious cycle.
I am so ashamed of myself and I am truly in mind-numbing pain every day. I need help and I dont know where to turn. Medicaid was a no, CareCredit rejected my application, everybody's a bit broke right now, and the extensive work I need is too much for the dental school.
Anyone have any ideas how to stop this ship from sinking? My teeth are controlling my life, and my life right now sucks!
